Spiders in the Kitchen
by Preussen
Summary: Matthew never thought Gilbert was one to be afraid, so when he hears a rather loud yell coming from the kitchen, he has every right to be worried. Rated for Gilbert's mouth. Real names used. Oneshot.


Matthew and Gilbert had once talked about the things that they feared the most. What would send them screaming and cowering in the opposite direction or calling for a loved one for protection. Matthew had answered honestly, saying that he feared being completely invisible to everyone, and that he also had a constant, nagging dread that if he didn't keep the house clean enough, those dust bunnies would catch up to him.

Gilbert had responded with a simple, "Losing my awesomeness", and even added a slight shudder for more effect.

Matthew was skeptical at thinking that was the _only_ thing the Prussian would be afraid of. But then again, this was Gilbert. If he was afraid of anything, he would never ever admit it.

So when Matthew was sitting at his desk, munching idly on a maple cookie writing in his journal, he all but jumped out of his seat when a panicked, high pitch yell echoed through the house.

Actually, that seat of his tipped over and dumped him onto the floor. Box of maple cookies and all.

"M-M-MATTHEW!!!"

It was Gilbert.

The Canadian felt fear shoot up his spine as he jumped to his feet. He quickly brushed the stray cookie crumbs off of his shirt and dashed out the bedroom door. Taking the stairs two at a time, he slid into the kitchen, eyes wide and chest pounding.

"Gilbert what-"

He froze, biting a lip to hold back the laughter threatening to explode out of his chest.

There, on the counter, was Gilbert. Huddled into a ball clutching the either side of his head with his hands. Ruby eyes were deftly fixed on a small brown spot in the middle of the linoleum floor.

A spider.

The small thing moved slightly, skittering a few steps towards the Prussian. Gilbert, in turn, let out a rather panicked yelp, sinking farther back onto the counter.

"Gilbert…?" Matthew was frowning now, giving the albino a rather curious look. "Gilbert, it's just a spider."

"The fuck it is!" Gilbert snapped, flinching when the eight legged creature skittered across the floor in a new directed. "That thing's a monster!"

"It's jus-"

"IT'S THE SIZE OF MY HAND, MATTIE!"

Matthew arched an eyebrow. "it's only about this big…" He held up a hand, moving his index finger and thumb to a space about the size of an inch.

Gilbert let out a strange noise. "It's gi-fuckin'-normous, Mattie!" He snapped. "Now kill it or somethin'!" He waved a hand animatedly to the small creature.

Matthew sighed heavily but grabbed an empty glass sitting on the counter to at least give the man a little reassurance. He took careful steps, trying not to scare the arachnid off as he eased closer. Slowly, he bent over, cup in hand and ready to capture.

But the spider was quicker and hurriedly scurried away, taking refuge somewhere underneath the fridge. Gilbert let out the most unmanly sound Matthew had ever heard.

"Oh…" Matt sighed, standing straight as he stared intently at the fridge. "Well that's a slight problem…"

"Matthew." Gilbert whimpered, ducking his head in between his knees. "You fail. You know that? With a capital F."

Matthew laughed softly, setting the cup down on the counter. "I didn't think it'd run away that fast."

"And you couldn't have just stomped on it or something?"

"A spider that big?" Gilbert twitched slightly. "No way, it'd be too much of a mess."

There was a short bit of silence as the two men looked at each other. One with an expression of pure horror and dread, the other looking rather amused at the other's situation.

"Why don't you come down off the cou-"

"No." The answer was final. Matthew frowned at that.

"Why not?" He moved over so he was standing in front of the Prussian, hands behind his back as he smiled slightly.

"It'll jump out and eat me." Gilbert murmured, looking somewhat dejected and ashamed of himself.

Matthew couldn't help the small bit of laughter escaping his lips. Gilbert glared at him and mumbled something to himself, turning his ruby gaze elsewhere. Like the sink. That wasn't anywhere near the fridge now was it?

"I'm not even gonna _touch_ that floor." Gilbert growled, pulling his legs closer ( if at all possible ) to his chest.

Matthew sighed slightly, looking the man over with his violet gaze. "You're gonna end up stuck here for quite some time if you don't get down." He said softly, a coy smile playing at his lips.

Gilbert said nothing. He just tightened his gaze and huffed.

The Canadian deliberated for a moment, looking from the grown man on the counter to the fridge, and then back. "You want me to carry you…?"

Gilbert gave him an incredulous look. "What!?"

"Carry you. Y'know…A piggy back ride?" Matthew shrugged. "It's better then you sitting on the counter all day, right?" He flashed the Prussian a smile. "C'mon. I'll take you to the living ro-"

"If you're takin' me anywhere, it's either outside or upstairs." Gilbert snapped.

Matthew arched his eyebrows, the smile spreading wider somewhat. "You really don't like spiders, do you?"

Gilbert just shuddered in response.

"To think," Matthew murmured, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest. "Gilbert Weillschmidt, the awesome country of Prussia." He grinned. "One who fought some of the bloodiest battles out there and even survived both world wars and the after effects," He paused, tilting his head to the side and motioning towards the fridge. "Is cowering on my counter because of a mere bug the size of my thumb?"

Gilbert's eyes narrowed to slits. A death glare that had lost its intimidating message because of the trembles that ran through the Prussian's body.

Matthew turned around, holding his arms out on either side. "C'mon, I'll take you upstairs." He said, motioning for Gilbert to climb on.

Gilbert, of course, was very reluctant to even move. But eventually, he was on Matthew's back, legs wrapped around his waist and arms in front of his neck as the Canadian hobbled forward.

"If you speak a word of this," Gilbert murmured, tightening his hold around the Canadian. "I will make sure those blasted dust bunnies of yours eat you alive."

Matthew merely laughed, giving him a cheery, "Sure, Gilbert, whatever you say," as he ambled up the stairs towards the bedroom.

The Canadian smiled to himself. He was never going to let Gilbert live this down.

Ever.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Taking a little break from the Civil War fic I started up a day or two ago to write this. ;)_

_Sad thing is…this is a true story…_

_A friend of mine spent the night last night and in the coarse of ten minutes, we encountered three spiders. Two of which we…er…she killed and the third one…well…You can probably guess which one is still scurrying about the house…_

_Guess who was on the counter? :D_

_Ahahaha….haha…ha… _

_I hate spiders with a passion. You don't even KNOW._

_Oh. The glass my friend was going to use to capture the spider eventually broke. We knocked it off the counter when she was about to give me a piggy back ride. Ahahaha~_


End file.
